Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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