I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
