i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
