i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
