come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
