Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
