I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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