Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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