I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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