Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
