In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
