I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
