Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
