I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
