we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
