I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
