Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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