She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
