so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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