dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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