I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
