Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
