the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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