Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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