I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
