booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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