At least make sure they are 18
Why
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
