he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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