i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
