so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
