Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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