I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
