new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
