Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
