they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
he's single and there are thong briefs.
The air taste purple.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
