chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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