Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm at about main and main street
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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