I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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