Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i think my cat just said my name.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
