Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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