swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
how does that bad decision feel?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
