his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
