Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
