I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
