So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
