I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
