she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
