i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
