I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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