I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
